You can learn a lot about the year 1977 from its amusing magazine ads
All we needed were CB radios, bananas and funk to keep us happy.
On the other hand, 1977 seems like ages ago, especially when you consider that the closest thing to a portable smartphone was a combination CB radio/8-track player for your car.
There's plenty more where that came from. We went digging through some old magazines from '77. Here are 20 things you can learn about the year via advertising.
Florence Henderson was still America's mom.
The Brady Bunch may have been off the air for three years, but The Brady Bunch Hour was just kicking off. And Carol herself was concerned about everyone's Vitamin C intake.
Regardless of the lunchbox, every kid wanted to be the Fonz.
Aaaaay! We want that Happy Days pail for work.
The shampoo market was flourishing.
Figure skating icons were even promoting shampoo specifically for short (and sassy) hair. Heck, there was even shampoo with beer.
This was considered "miraculous" pocket technology…
Slightly less annoying than a ringtone.
…because this was the only way to carry a telephone.
Incoming call "beeps" were a new feature touted in this Bell ad.
But mobile communication was still all the rage.
If you understand this CB lingo, you are a true '70s child.
Cars could barely fit on the page.
You'd have to buy a two-page spread for a Fleetwood Seventy-Five.
It's no wonder we spent so much time at the car wash.
They even made a movie — and hit song — about it.
Speaking of movies, perhaps you've heard of this modest little opening.
Can you imagine a new Star Wars movie opening on just seven screens in a major city T-O-D-A-Y?
Yet the biggest movie star was perhaps a dog.
They were building Benji hype months in advance.
TV movies were awesome, too.
There were some genuine horrors to be found on network television.
Clothing was a lot more fun. And polyester.
See-through heels for men! Big "oil derrick patterns" on jeans!
Basketball sneakers were old school.
Warning, this offer is no longer valid.
Men wanted to be macho and musky.
"Macho soap. At fine stores." Probably not too fine, though.
Hash browns were finally flat.
McDonald's had to reassure customers about their "funny shape." Even Macho could not cover up the delicious smell of fried potatoes.
Yet, TV screens were hardly flat.
Flatscreen? Ha! You needed a repairman and a carpenter to fix a wooden set like this.
Apple was just getting started.
Hey, we weren't primative. We had a new little machine called an Apple, which had recently launched its iconic logo.
This was the only way to take a selfie.
Instagram, circa 1977.
Kids were bananas for bananas.
Today's kids all want a fancy Apple iPhone. Back in the day, we'd be thrilled with a Banana tent.
"Rapping" had a much different meaning then.
After "Rapper's Delight" came out a couple years later, Coke probably had to change its ad copy.