Do you believe this dark fan theory about 'I Love Lucy'?
Lucy isn't a housewife. She's a woman running away from the mob.
I Love Lucy helped pioneer the family sitcom in the 1950s. On the program, Lucy Ricardo is a wacky, middle-class housewife in New York City who finds herself getting into hilariously crazy scenarios with her friends and family.
The show is pretty simple, with plot lines presenting a problem and solving it within 30 minutes. But what if we told you I Love Lucy is more than meets the eye?
Cracked's Rachael Brennan presents an unusual theory that Lucy isn't really a housewife, but a woman in the Witness Protection Program running away from her dangerous mob boss of a father.
Before you roll your eyes, let's hear out this theory. Brennan gives us six reasons as to why it might pan out:
1. Lucy never brings up her father.
Throughout the series, Lucy and Ricky's extended family pops up from time to time. Lucy's mother comes to visit during one episode, and the family travels to Cuba in the sixth season. However, not once does Lucy mention anything about her father.
Lucy also hides her maiden name and family history from her friends. In the season six episode, "Housewarming," Lucy says her maiden name is McGillicuddy. However, in the episode, "Lucy Goes to Scotland," she claims McGillicuddy is actually her mother's maiden name. What are you hiding Lucy?!
2. Lucy's decision-making skills come from the mafia playbook.
Lucy always gets into trouble, that's why the show is so fun to watch! But when Lucy gets in over her head, she doesn't come up with a cute solution to a problem. Instead, she schemes her way out.
Remember when Lucy and Ethel buy too much meat from the butcher during the first season? Instead of admitting their mistake and returning it, they put the meat in a baby stroller and try to undersell it right in front of the butcher! Now that's cold.
In the episode, "The Business Manager," Lucy can't seem to stay within her budget. Instead of cutting back or picking up a part time job, she decides to scam the local grocery store. Where do you think she would pick up those skills?
3. Lucy always knows how to get what she wants.
There are a lot of outlandish plots during the course of the show's six seasons. Therefore, there are a lot of random objects that appear as well. Lucy can get whatever she needs, including a baby elephant, an instrument case that doubles as a costume, and 10 random children to fend of an unwated suitor.
We know Ricky wouldn't allow Lucy to buy all these things. Perhaps all she has to do is pick up the phone or pay a visit to an "old friend" to get what she wants? Think about it…
4. The FBI follows her around.
The Witness Protection Program has to assign an FBI agent to follow Lucy around to make sure she is safe with her new identity. That's the only reason the same man could be a game show host, neighbor, train conductor, waiter, etc. It can't be contributed to casting decisions, right?
5. She's paranoid.
In one of the earlier episodes, Lucy becomes convinced Ricky is trying to kill her after becoming too invested in a murder mystery novel. Or at least, that's her excuse. Maybe her years dealing with a crooked father have made her more susceptible to paranoia.
To get to the bottom of her fears, Lucy takes a loaded gun to Ricky's work to confront him. Obviously, it's all a misunderstanding in the end, but that was really a ruthless move on her part. Apparently it's either kill or be killed.
Does this sound like a classic sitcom to you, or an episode of The Sopranos?
6. Lucy is a criminal.
According to Brennan, the biggest red flag comes from the first season episode "The Kleptomaniac." Lucy morphs into a full-fledged criminal out of nowhere. She's a masterful pickpocket and watch thief, and she manages to get the blueprints to a bank in less than a day. How does that happen?!
Obviously, this evidence points to the fact that Lucy isn't really an adorable housewife, but a runaway mob daughter in the Witness Protection Program.
What do you think of this theory? You can read it in its entirety here.
Besides, if she was in "witsec" (Which DIDN'T exist in the 1950's!), she wouldn't have been able to go overseas - which see did for a long story arc during the series. They wouldn't have allowed her to leave the safety of America.
It's bad enough when MeTV's staff writes ridiculous and poor researched articles, but now you're reprinting other people's unfunny material.