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7 truly bizarre Seventies TV specials that could only have aired in 1978
What other year could deliver the Carpenters in space, a Flintstones roast, disco Archie, KISS, Wookiees and "Ognir Rrats"?
Network producers put together television specials in the 1970s like they were playing some game of celebrity bingo. "Let's see, we'll get Charles Nelson Reilly, Huckleberry Hound, Merle Haggard, Bea Arthur and The Trammps and put them in… an outer-space casino!"
Okay, that was not a real example, but Seventies TV specials truly put the variety in "variety show." In what other decade would you find Paul Lynde, Witchiepoo, KISS, Florence Henderson, Donny Osmond, Tim Conway and "Pinky Tuscadero" in the same program? That one was real, and it was The Paul Lynde Halloween Special.
The year 1978, in particular, delivered junk-food delicacy after junk-food delicacy. It might be the weirdest year of television specials in history, as disco and Darth Vader loomed over pop culture.
Some of these are notorious. Some are now forgotten. They all could only exist that particular year.
1. The Archie Situation Comedy Musical Variety Show
No, that is the actual title of the special, not a bunch of keywords we dumped into Google trying to remember what this thing was called. While The Archies animated series was a hit on the small screen — and the pop charts — the Riverdale gang had a much rockier road to success in live-action. An Archie sitcom pilot (with William Schallert as the dad and former Mouseketeer Cheryl Holdridge as Veronica) failed to make it to series in the early Sixties. Another attempt was made 15 years later. That failed, too, but it did lead to this clunkily named cheesefest. The ASCMVS opened with a musical number, as the whole gang (including Reggie and Moose) jammed on fake translucent neon instruments. "Smile on your face, smile… for the human race!" they belted out. Gordon Jump from WKRP in Cincinnati played Mr. Andrews!
Image: ABC
2. The Carpenters...Space Encounters
The Star Wars influence was strong in this silly musical shindig. You need only look at the opening credits, with yellow text crawling into a field of stars just like the 1977 George Lucas blockbuster. But give Karen and Richard some credit — the Carpenters were no strangers to UFOs. The sibling duo had recorded its alien-baiting hit "Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft" before Star Wars was released. (That single went No. 1 in Ireland!) This special was sort of an expanded spin-off of that song, complete with disco numbers, cotton-white afros, John Davidson and Suzanne Somers. Naturally, Space Encounters closes with Karen crooning "Calling Occupants" with an orchestra and spaceship.
Image: The Everett Collection
3. Hanna-Barbera's All-Star Comedy Ice Revue
To celebrate Fred Flintstone's 48th birthday (we suppose that made him 30 when The Flintstones started) Hanna-Barbera hosted a celebrity roast… and ice capades. Hee Haw host Roy Clark and Bonnie Franklin of One Day at a Time emceed the event, which featured giant costumed versions of Quick Draw McGraw, Yogi Bear, Jabberjaw and others lovingly leveling insults at Fred. Just because it was 1978, the Sylvers boogied their way through "Disco Showdown," too.
Image: The Everett Collection
4. Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park
October 31 happened to fall on a Tuesday in '78, which meant the real holiday partying went down on Saturday night, October 28. You didn't have to leave the house — or get up from the couch — to celebrate the holiday. The TV lineup was a Halloween shindig in itself. And we're not just talking about Vincent Price sailing aboard The Love Boat in "Ship of Ghouls." That evening NBC premiered KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park, a live-action movie complete with roller coasters, cyborg werewolves, vampires and mad scientists. And the members of KISS, of course. If the goofy plot — which centered around an evil genius creating an army of android clones in an amusement park — felt like a cartoon, specifically an episode of Scooby-Doo, it was with good reason. Hanna-Barbera, the animation studio best known for The Flintstones and Yogi Bear, produced the flick.
Image: The Everett Collection
5. Olivia
Olivia Newton-John was the biggest woman in entertainment in 1978. She was in Grease and had four Top 10 hits that year. Olivia upped the star-power by adding ABBA and Andy Gibb to the mix. No special had bigger pop stars that year. "Dancing Queen" and "Shadow Dancing" and "Hopelessly Devoted to You" in one hour?! Which is not to say Olivia was not weird. Particularly surreal was the performance of "Money, Money, Money," which saw ABBA stuck in a glass booth with dollar bills blowing around, as children played a board game that had disco dancers grinding and grooving atop the game board. In the climax, Olivia sang "Who Are You Now?" in a sort of set of alien ruins littered with mannequins.
Image: ABC
6. Ringo
Former Beatle drummer Ringo Starr saw his career in freefall in '78. His 1977 album Ringo the 4th failed to make the charts in the U.K. — yes, a Beatle failed to chart in Britain — and only managed to scratch to No. 162 in America. Ringo rushed to the Bahamas to record the follow-up Bad Boy. A slow, preposterous TV special, Ringo, was filmed in Hollywood to help promote the record. A retelling of The Prince and the Pauper, Ringo saw the world-famous Starr swap places with his American doppelgänger, Ognir Rrats. (Get it?) Art Carney, no stranger to bonkers 1978 specials, played Ognir's pop. "Anyone over the age of 10 or so may find [it] a bit patronizing," The New York Times television critic wrote. Bad Boy also failed to chart in the U.K., but it did make it to No. 129 in the States. Hey, that's an improvement!
Image: The Everett Collection
7. Star Wars Holiday Special
If a big walking carpet doesn't get you in the holiday spirit, what will? That was sort of the idea behind CBS's ill-fated, infamous Star Wars Holiday Special. The network brought the idea of a holiday variety special to Star Wars director George Lucas. It was a big opportunity to bring a blockbuster film to the more accessible world of home television, and a way to whet the appetite of audiences before the release of sequel The Empire Strikes Back in 1980. Lucas was reportedly not stoked about the idea, but offered up some inspiration and allowed the production to go forward. It now ranks No. 1 in the book What Were They Thinking?: The 100 Dumbest Events in Television History by David Hofstede, and is practically disowned by Lucas and the cast. But, hey, it did give us Boba Fett?
Image: The Everett Collection
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