Are these real defunct McDonald's menu items, or did we make them up?

On MeTV

On MeTV Now:

Emergency!

Zero

A woman screams for therapeutic reasons. When the paramedics are interviewed on a TV program, Johnny freezes in front of the camera and Roy must bail him out. A young boy attempts suicide by leaping off an apartment ledge at the hospital; the doctors suspect he may be an abused child. The paramedics rescue a man trapped in a doughnut machine and a child from a fire.

Up Next:

6:00PM Hogan's Heroes

6:30PM M*A*S*H