12 delicious bygone beverages you will never drink again

Did you drink mixes like PDQ, Funny Face, Keen and Moo Juice?

Top image: Pillsbury / YouTube

Decades ago, children slurped sweet drinks such as Bosco, Ovaltine and Tang. While those brands might not fill the lunch boxes and grocery store shelves today, Boomers with nostalgic thirst can easily order them online. Heck, even cult favorites like Za-Rex seem to have resurfaced.

However, some delightful beverages of our youth remain memories. We wanted to focus on the the many mixes and milk additives that powered our Saturday mornings back in the day. We threw in a few bottled and canned soft drinks that tickled our fancy, too. Were any of these drinks your favorite?

1. Aunt Wick's Root Beer


Hankering for that refreshing flavor of flat root beer? These days, one must resort to letting a can of Barq's sit out for a day or sucking on a candy barrel. However, there was once an assortment of powdered root beer mixes. Kool-Aid, Wyler's and Funny Face produced the flavor, but nothing seems to push the nostalgia button online quite like Aunt Wick's.

Image: Retroist

2. Banana Frost


Sold in the produce section, Libby's powder turned a banana and some ice cubes into a frothy, creamy shake. Provided you had a blender, of course.

Image: Dan Goodsell / Flickr

3. Chocolate Soldier


There was once an unfathomable array of chocolate drinks and chocolate sodas. What happened? Today Yoo-hoo remains, but its competition has fallen on the beverage battlefield. Take Chocolate Soldier, for example, which could not win the soft drink wars despite its nifty name and cute packaging.

Image: ecrater

4. Cocoa Marsh


That's "Marsh" as in "-mallow" and not "swamp," we hope and assume. What set this "milk booster" apart from competition like Bosco was its lion mascot and pump. How many squirts would you put in a glass? Three? Seven?

Image: Pinterest

5. Devil Shake


Pepsi tried to get into the chocolate game in the 1960s, too. Like Patio, the company's first attempt at Diet Pepsi, this beverage suffered from its curious branding, not to mention the fact the cola giant had to ask for help from the competing Yoo-hoo to solve the problem of shelf life.

Image: culinarylore

6. Funny Face


Pillsbury's sweet entry into the Kool-Aid game had a bumpy history. At launch in 1964, some of the flavors and cartoon faces were ethnically insensitive. Chinese Cherry quickly became Choo Choo Cherry.

Image: theimaginaryworld

7. Great Shakes


"Any place can be a soda fountain now," the commercial sang with its faux Beach Boys sound. We love that the term "shake" is quite literal here. James Bond likely approved. This would have been a blast to whip up before watching Shindig.

Image: VintageTVCommercials

8. Keen


Nestle's Keen was the neato, boss competitor to Kool-Aid. Flavors included Lemon, Grape, Orange, Cherry and "Tahiti Punch."

Image: Amazon

9. Moo Juice


Funny Face was to Moo Juice what Keen was to Quik. Pillsbury's milk mixers came in the standard chocolate and strawberry varieties. The print ads suggested adding a scoop of ice cream, because YOLO.

Image: ClickAmericana

10. PDQ


These magical milk beads, which looked closer to Sanka than Ovaltine, spawned its own sponsored game show, also titled PDQ. The brand was quite popular through the 1960s and 1970s. Take a look at this ad from the late '70s which uses the rarely seen adjective "crunchy" in its beverage pitch.

Image: johnbooth / Flickr

11. Purple Passion


We have largely focused on drink mixes, but this psychedelic soda merits inclusion. This carbonated Canada Dry delight was reportedly grape flavored, which makes sense. Did anyone drink this tie-dyed treat?

Image: Etsy / Phyndz

12. Squoze


How's this for a lemonade mascot? A chunk of sugar who had his body cut in half, with difficulties conjugating verbs. "Pillsbury squoze me in half to make Squoze," the one-legged creature proclaims in an oddly chipper manner.

Image: Museum of Classic Chicago Television / YouTube

13. THERE'S MORE: 10 defunct sodas you will never drink again


There are far more forgotten cans beside Purple Passion in soda heaven. Take a look at our list of defunct soft drinks that includes beloved refreshers such as Rondo, Aspen and OK.

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jimilou 40 months ago
I remember my mom helping my sister and I enter a contest to win a Funny Face cardboard drink stand, and we won! The two of us spent days on the sidewalk in front of our house yelling "2¢ - Funny Face!!!" at every passing car. Probably should have put a little more thought into our sales pitch.
mmcm1959 41 months ago
Purple Passion was a mix of ginger ale and grape soda. You can still make it, today.
Tommygun1955 46 months ago
I didn't see wylers listed. They're still out there but only in "lite" form. If I remember right, they had characters for each flavor. Goofy Grape was one of them.
Goofy Grape is one of the Funny Face characters/flavors. Wyler's was the name under which Jel-Sert made their drink mixes, including the infamous Flavor-Aid.
Kdimsdale 51 months ago
Bosco and Ovaltine!
idkwut2use Kdimsdale 40 months ago
Those are gone?!
I named my big plush chocolate Lab Bosco. ;; Good stuff.
On the other hand, partially inspired by A Christmas Story, I did a “persuasive speech” for one class explaining why Hershey’s was superior to Ovaltine. Not that anybody needed persuading, I don’t think. xD
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