Tonight, on MeTV- if you are confused and thought THIS weekend should be Memorial Day weekend, don’t worry- you may have missed your first chance of grilling last weekend, but this weekend we’ll provide you with the webber (yes, lame stretch joke playing off the Weber grill). We’re bringing back another massive monster provided by Bert I. Gordon (notice his initials)- in his 1958 feature which has a small town endangered by a big (yes, like the initials) arachnid! Local teens try to warn the authorities that a deadly battle is eminent- that main event being “Earth VS the Spider”! (I always thought the small town should have been named “Earth” to make the title ring true, but that’s just me…)

We see Mr. Jack Flynn driving home late at night, having gotten a nice birthday gift for his daughter Carol-when tragedy strikes! The next morning, at school, teenager Carol, worried because her dad never came home that night before, gets a little angry at her boyfriend Mike, who hints that her father’s absence may be due to some –uh- “liquid distraction”. She knows her dad used to take part in that sort of thing, but the mere suggestion upsets her almost as much as him not coming home.

The teens make up in class (is that like a make-up test?), and Carol convinces Mike that they should borrow a buddy’s car, so they can go looking for her dad. They do so but make a terrible discovery-they find his vehicle- but he himself is nowhere to be found. Spotting a cave nearby, Mike wonders if Dad would have gone in there for shelter from the cold of night. The couple heads into the cave, and, while searching for him, find the bracelet that father Jack had planned to give to Carol. As they continue to search, they stumble upon the lair of a gigantic tarantula that comes after them! They barely escape, and head to town to tell the authorities about the menacing creature. As you might guess- just like in “The Blob” and “Killer Klowns from Outer Space” -the authorities find it hard to believe, and scoff at the kids’ warning. Fortunately, their science teacher Mr. Kingman stands up for them, and joins the local sheriff, along with his deputies and some pest control men (Kingman’s idea) as they go to the cave. The search yields some terrifying and deadly results- they encounter the huge spider for themselves, and attack it with DDT, which appears to have killed the menace. Yes, I said “appears”…

Mr. Kingman wants to have the spider studied to find some answers about its existence and has it put on display in the high school recreation room (seriously?). In an even more questionable move, the school photo club is allowed to practice their art, using the inert arachnid as a model. A little time and the sound of an amateur rock band result in the big spider miraculously reviving, creating panic, claiming more victims, and threatening the town!

Missing out on this mayhem are original spider-spotters Mike and Carol, who have gone back to the cave, in search of the gift bracelet that she dropped when they ran from the spider the first time. Unfortunately they aren’t the only ones to return to the cave- as new disasters strike in the cave, thanks to the hairy horror- and Kingman and the authorities must undertake a combined rescue and “search and destroy” mission! Who would you put your money on- the spider or the “Earth”?!

This film was indeed produced and directed by Bert I. Gordon, who specialized in films involving over-sized (BIG) menaces, like “Village of the Giants”, “The Amazing Colossal Man”, and “Beginning of the End” with its giant grasshoppers invading Chicago. You will see some familiar faces in the cast, not just from other Gordon films, but from TV shows and short subjects. We’ll tell you all about them, bring you a song with Doug Graves, plus a Kerwyn-hosted game show concentrating on spiders and another round of our drawing game “Too Drawn Out”- plus some annoyance from the Imp, a discussion with our legendary pal Joe Bob Briggs regarding the place films like ours tonight flourished- the drive-in- and, in honor of our friend author and hall of famer Mick Foley getting involved with AEW wrestling, bring back some Foley fun from the past.!

The epic battle of “Earth VS the Spider” begins tonight at 8 pm eastern/pacific, 7 central- if you need help finding the time or channel in your area, please check your local listings or at www.metv.com , where you can also get help on finding where to watch us (under-what else- the tab “where to watch”!) MeTV reminds you that you can join in both the live-Tweeting during the show on Twitter and live comment posting on Bluesky -just use the hashtag #svengoolie. Our local Chicago viewers get an encore of “Dr. Cyclops” at 11 am on our main local station, WCIU the U!

If you want to add some spiffy Sven stuff to your summer wardrobe, now is the time to hit the MeTV Mall! You’ll find lots of warm weather wear- from our vintage vault t shirts to hats and the button up Hawaiian-style Sven shirts- you can get some glassware to serve up your cold drinks- and add to your collection of Sven Squad gear! Don’t forget that Father’s Day is coming up- so browse our store for the perfect gift for your Sven-fan Dad!

Of course, with the summer outdoor season, you have to expect some creepy crawly pests- tune in for a super-sized one tonight on METV!