23 chips and crackers you will never snack on again

Warning: The article will give you the munchies.

The snack aisle at your local grocery store can be overwhelming. There are 18 different varieties of Wheat Thins, Triscuits and Ritz, dusted with foodie flavors like Spicy Buffalo, Tomato & Sweet Basil, and Wasabi & Soy Sauce.

This plethora of options is not entirely new. Half a century ago, you could grab crackers flavored like ham, celery, chicken, bacon and onion. Those crispy corn tidbits came shaped as horns, flowers, bowties, surfboards and more.

While some brands like Doritos and Bugles have stayed around, most of these vintage snacks have turned to nothing more than Cheetos dust in the wind. Let's take a look at some bygone crackers and chips you will never eat again. Which one would you bring back?

1. Appeteasers

 

Crescent rolls are one of the greatest parts of Thanksgiving meals. But what if you could eat adorable little teeny tiny crescent rolls every day? We'd pound those by the handful.

Image: Nabisco via Jason Liebig / Collecting Candy

2. Barbecue Vittles

 

Seemingly designed for snacking while watching Westerns on television, these wee corn "barrels" had a (Gun)smoky flavor.

Image: General Mills

3. Betcha Bacon

 

Sure, it looks a bit like a dog treat, but these bacon snacks offered more dignity than chewing handfuls of Bac'Os Bacon Bits salad toppings. And let's be honest — we've all done that at some point. Perhaps you remember the commercials featuring child star Mason Reese?

Image: General Mills

4. Bows

 

Well, isn't that fancy?

Image: General Mills

5. Buttons

 

In the late 1960s, these promised to "taste like cheddar, only better." They looked suspiciously like Pizza Wheels, minus the pizza-ness.

Image: General Mills

6. Celery Thins

 

Celery gets a bad rap as a dull vegetable. But celery flavoring is underrated — quite delicious and refreshing. Shout out to all you fellow Cel-Ray Soda fans.

Image: Nabisco

7. Cheddar Taters

 

Why would your tongue "tingle"?

Image: Click Americana

8. Cheeblers

 

The Keebler Elves cook up far more than cookies. These snappy snacks, around in the 1980s, were also once known as Krunch Twists.

Image: Keebler via Jason Liebig / Collecting Candy

9. Chit Chats

 

There's a fancy little gathering going on around the box of these 1960s barbecue crackers. This cracker box is more formal than most offices these days.

Image: Nabisco via Jason Liebig / Collecting Candy

10. Crisp-i-Taters

 

Are they french fries or potato chips? Does it really matter? We'd eat 'em either way.

Image: General Mills via Click Americana

11. Daisy*s

 

"Looks like a flower, tastes like bacon." Now that is truly romantic.

Image: General Mills

12. Dixies

 

How adorable — miniature drumsticks! Chicken, that is. Not the percussion instrument.

Image: Nabisco via Gregg Koenig / Flickr

13. Doo Dads

 

The original snack mix is still the best.

Image: Nabisco / Attic Paper

14. Duet

 

In 1969, this Nabisco offering wed sweet and salty. Essentially, it was akin to the ubiquitous Digestive biscuits of the U.K. and Australia. Those are perfect with tea. One problem — Americans don't drink that much afternoon tea.

Image: Nabisco via Click Americana

15. Hotchas

 

Also sold in 1969, this General Mills corn chip foresaw the popularity of the "walking taco."

Image: General Mills

16. Joey Chips

 

A simple question for those around in 1967, when this snack hit the market: Who is Joey? Bishop? A baby kangaroo?

Image: General Mills

17. O'Boisies

 

"O'Boisies are o'boisterous!" the jingle proclaimed, upping the vocabulary level of the average commercial break.

Image: Keebler / YouTube

18. Pizza Spins

 

Yes, we mention them in every nostalgic snack post. But people LOVED these things.

Image: General Mills

19. Pop-R-Corns

 

Long before Popchips, about five decades earlier, Pop-R-Corns turned popcorn into snackable wafers. Unfortunately, the name read more like "Pop Our Corns" than "Popper Corns," which, ew, gross.

Image: General Mills

20. Royal Lunch

 

That sounds like a euphemism for something. Actually, Royal Lunch was one of Nabisco's earliest cracker offerings, and the brand stuck around for 90-some years.

Image: Nabisco via Jason Liebig / Collecting Candy

21. Rye Chips

 

There is not enough rye on offer in the snack aisle these days.

Image: General Mills

22. Swiss 'N' Ham Flings

 

Cheese and meat, two great tastes that always go together. Not always in a puffy curl, but why not?

Image: Nabisco via Jason Liebig / Collecting Candy

23. Tater Twists

 

It's far better than eating a box of uncooked rotini.

Image: General Mills

SEE MORE: 12 CRISPY, SALTY SNACK FOODS FROM THE 1960S

 

Oh, there's more. We could not forget Dippy Canoes, Pik Chicks and Salty Surfers. READ MORE

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