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13 vintage turkey recipes that would ruin anybody's Thanksgiving
Enjoy this heaping second helping of Turkey Day's most dismal dishes.
Breaking the wishbone is a Thanksgiving tradition revisited by many families for decades. Unfortunately, for some brave feastgoers in the 1950s, '60s and '70s, some experimental turkey dishes from probably fell in that category, too.
Don't blame mom, though. Blame the subtle, sentimental genius of early ads in Ladies Home Journal or Better Homes and Gardens that convinced home chefs to toss the traditional turkey aside and instead dice up the turkey with bits of pineapple and suspend it all in strawberry Jell-O, with a thick base of cream cheese for good measure. It's all your favorite tastes, just served up in a vastly different way!
In some homes, instead of gravy and cranberry sauce, there was Cheez Whiz and Campbell's creamy soup. To today's fresh-obsessed families, it seems like turkey anarchy with an extra heaping of mayo.
Did any of these turkey plates and platters below find their way into your family recipe Rolodex? Stick out your plate and scroll below for a second helping of Turkey Day's most dismal dishes.
1. Turkey in Aspic
What's in it: turkey, eggs, asparagus spears, pimiento strops, gelatin, chicken broth, onion, lemon juice, horseradish, parsley
Perfect for that rare Thanksgiving feast where everyone's counting calories?
Image: vintagerecipecards.com/Better Homes and Gardens
2. Tangy Creamed Turkey
What's in it: margarine, mushrooms, onion, turkey, green pepper, green peas, mayonnaise, pimiento, yogurt, saffron rice
Creamy-mayo-mushy-pea-pimiento goodness!
Image: clickamericana.com
3. Tempting Turkey
What's in it: turkey, Cheez Whiz, broccoli, bread
Nothing says home-cookin' like "Nut-Sweet Swiss Flavor Cheez Whiz Pasteurized Process Cheese Spread"!
Image: clickamericana.com
4. Turkey Cheese Ball
What's in it: cream cheese, turkey, toasted almonds, mayonnaise, chutney, curry powder, parsley, crackers
Nobody will be quite sure what they're eating exactly, but one thing's for sure: You'll have a ball!
Image: clickamericana.com
5. Turkey-Mushroom Salad
What's in it: turkey, mushrooms, celery, pimiento-stuffed olives, mayonnaise, lemon juice, onion, Romaine lettuce
The 1970s were all about variety in your salad — and pimiento everything.
Image: badanduglyofretrofood.com
6. Turkey Layer Loaf
What's in it: jellied cranberry sauce, gelatin, turkey, celery, stuffed olives, mayonnaise
When we imagine a relaxing Thanksgiving day, this is not the kind of loafing we had in mind.
Image: clickamericana.com
7. Turkey Fruit Salad
What's in it: turkey, apple, walnuts, grapes, pineapple, mayonnaise
Just in case that savory mushroom salad wasn't doing it for you, there's always the turkey fruit salad, shown here in a cranberry Jell-O bowl, because of course.
Image: Ladies Home Journal
8. Turkey Fruit Salad
What's in it: turkey, pineapple, grapes, apple, walnuts, mayonnaise, gelatin, cranberry juice, peaches, cream cheese, celery, lemon juice
This is like the last turkey fruit salad on steroids. It's all combined into one giant turkey mass, with a cream cheese base sturdied by crunchy chunks of celery.
Image: clickamericana.com
9. Cranberry-Orange Ring
What's in it: oranges, strawberry Jell-O, jellied cranberry sauce, chopped nuts, turkey, celery, mayonnaise
It's all about presentation when you're mixing turkey cubes, Jell-O, nuts and mayo.
10. Golden Turkey Salad
What's in it: turkey, peaches, olives, lettuce, hot biscuits
The trick to the golden turkey salad? Garnish, garnish, garnish.
Image: Ladies Home Journal
11. Holiday Turkey Salad
What's in it: turkey, celery, orange slices, French dressing or mayonnaise, salad greens
Feeling festive? Swap out the mayo for French dressing and embrace that holiday zest!
Image: clickamericana.com
12. Turkey-Apple Bake
What's in it: onion, butter, condensed cream of chicken or mushroom soup, nutmeg, turkey, apples, raisins
Is it dinner? Dessert? We'll tell you one thing. It's the '50s.
Image: Ladies Home Journal
13. Sociable Crackers
What's in it: turkey, cranberry
"The most partyable snack crackers" in 1963 came with tons of suggestions for canapés we'd likely pass up as picky kids, including the little bites shown here.
Image: Ladies Home Journal
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