Brrr-Hoo! Here are 14 ice creams you'll never eat again
Oh, how we yearn for HoJo's 28 flavors. Well, maybe not all of them.
Image: Vintage Ads
Summertime is all about nostalgia and keeping cool. From the Pavlovian jingle of the Good Humor truck to the taste of a Rocket Pop, our childhood memories are tied to ice cream.
Sadly, some of those ice creams of our youth have permanently melted away. But the memories remain!
Let's take a look back at some bygone ice cream chains and frozen treats you will never eat again. Probably.
The 28 flavors of Howard Johnson's
HoJo was once the largest restaurant chain in the country. That trademark bright orange roof atop the joints even looked like sherbet. Think you could name all 28 flavors? Well, here they are: Banana, Black Raspberry, Burgundy Cherry, Butter Pecan, Buttercrunch, Butterscotch, Caramel Fudge, Chocolate, Chocolate Chip, Coconut, Coffee, Frozen Pudding, Fruit Salad, Fudge Ripple, Lemon Stick, Macaroon, Maple Walnut, Mocha Chip, Orange-Pineapple, Peach, Peanut Brittle, Pecan Brittle, Peppermint Stick, Pineapple, Pistachio, Strawberry, Strawberry Ripple and Vanilla. Yes, Fruit Salad. Which would you order?
Image: Vintage Ads
Bresler's Ice Cream
Started by the same fast food visionary behind Henry's Hamburgers, a defunct burger chain, Bresler's was a Chicago-based business which grew to 300 locations, scooping out 33 flavors of ice cream. We won't name all of them.
Beatlemania knew no boundaries. Hence this treat tenuously tied to the Fab Four. Was it strawberry filled forever? No, it was a chocolate crunch bar.
Image: 50sunlimited / Tumblr
Buried Treasure pops
Tiny plastic figures could be found in the center of these popsicles. Eat enough of them, and you could assemble a tiny choo choo train. Yeah, that's probably a choking hazard, which is why these things didn't make it that far past the 1950s.
Steve's Ice Cream's "Smoosh-Ins"
Steve Herrell is a genius, a true American visionary. He essentially invented the notion of a Blizzard or Concrete or whatever you want to call it with his "mix-ins," as he smashed a Heath Bar into his premium ice cream back in 1973. Herrell went on to start Herrell's, and the "Steve's" brand name lives on as a gourmet shop in Brooklyn. However, the original parlor chain, once a staple of New England and Northeast, no longer exists.
The Strato-Liner Sundae from Dairy Queen
DQ needs to bring this behemoth back. Frozen, chocolate-covered bananas and wafer cookies shaped into an airplane? It looks like something Howard Hughes would fly / eat.
Carl Jr.'s Ice Cream Brrrger
Test marketed in 2012, the "Brrrger" never made it nationwide. Probably because… what exactly is that oozing over the sides of the sandwich?
Image: The Frisky
Jell-O Ice Cream Powder
Way back in the day, you could make your own ice cream at home, simply by adding sugar, milk and whipped cream to this packet.
Image: Vintage Ads
Bing Crosby Ice Cream
Bing was raking it in with all sorts of merchandising deals. He was known for "White Christmas," so why not sell a creamy, cold, vanilla treat? The Peter Pan brand was touted as "The Cream of the Stars."
Howdy Doody Frozen Treats
Speaking of celebrity ice cream treats, we're guessing the Howdy Doody line is not coming back. Especially the Clarabell Banana Bar, because clowns and banana flavoring just are not as popular as they used to be.
WWF Superstars of Wrestling Ice Cream Bars
Of course, the Hulkster bar was probably the most popular, but we'd have gone straight for the Andre the Giant pop. Shame it wasn't a bigger bar.
Tiger Tiger Ice Cream
Orange ice cream with licorice swirls? We'd eat it, but we're guessing many others would not.
Jell-O Pudding Pops
Introduced in the 1980s, and popularized by Bill Cosby in a line of TV commercials, these treats were quite popular. Nevertheless, they faded away by the turn of the millennium, largely because of the production process. Frozen foods were not Jell-O's forte, so the costs of making the things were simply not worth it.
Image: Click Americana
Ice Cream Cones cereal
Okay, it's not technically ice cream, but how could we not include this guilty pleasure? Remember when breakfast was basically dessert? Those were the days. At least they had eight vitamins and iron!
Image: Mr. Breakfast
SEE MORE: 17 BYGONE CANDY BARS YOU WILL NEVER EAT AGAIN
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